So my friend is 25 and I’m 22. We’re in the same program in university. She’s been with her boyfriend for a nearly 2 years and I’ve been with mine for over 3. My relationship is pretty much smooth sailing besides the occasionally disagreement (and I mean disagreement- we don’t really fight). We’re talking about getting engaged within the next year or so. My friend knows all this.

Well her and her boyfriend have had a very rocky year and I’m surprised she stayed with him after the crap he’s put her through. She showed up in class today and showed us the promise ring her boyfriend got her for her birthday. She was super excited and all our friends, including me, said all the right things like ‘it’s so pretty’ and ‘we’re so glad you guys are so committed to working through the tough stuff, that’s the sign you’ll last’. And so on.

She then turns to me and says ‘don’t worry maybe N (my boyfriend) will give you a promise ring soon and then you’ll have a real committed relationship’. I just stared at her and said ‘we have a committed relationship thank you very much, I don’t want a promise ring and you already know we’re talking about getting engaged so I’d rather wait for that ring’. She of course kept going on about how I need a sign of commitment and all that. I just ended up leaving.

I didn’t say that I think promise rings are juvenile or anything like that. Believe me I could’ve had a promise ring years ago- I just didn’t want one and told my boyfriend that when he’s ready to commit to me for life and start our life together then buy an engagement ring, no need for a promise of a future promise. My friends do not know that I think that promise rings are for high schoolers not adults. But I wanted to. I don’t get why she’s being so derogatory about my relationship when I’ve never said anything bad about my boyfriend to her (my boyfriend and I dont tell others when we have an issue so that we don’t give people bad impressions). I’ve never been rude about her relationship- I’m fact I’ve been so freaking supportive of everything!

If she brings it up again tomorrow would I be so wrong to tell her what I really think of promise rings and that’s why I don’t have one? I mean my boyfriend and I know we’re committed- we don’t need a promise of a promise. Honestly I think her boyfriend got her the ring purely because they’re not in a great place right now. I certainly don’t want a ring like that. I don’t want to be mean to her, but I also don’t want to keep being told my relationship isn’t real (as she’s told me at least 5 times today).