Heartbroken, just need to vent...

I found out i was expecting October 4th and had to have emergency surgery on October 25th. I was and still am devastated. This would have been baby #2 for hubby and I. I went to begin the process of counseling this week and guess who my counselor was?! A pregnant woman! It took everything in me not to break down in that office. I just tried to limit looking at her when talking. My husband says I should have just walked out because its not like they didn't know why I was even at their office for counseling. I have zero desire to want to be intimate with my husband. Bless his heart, he's been so supportive during this process. I don't want to eat or do anything. I hate seeing pregant women and cry just about every time I see one. I'm scared to even think about getting pregnant again, let alone to even start trying to conceive again. I named the baby Shannon because it was the only unisex name I liked. I hope I don't sound crazy saying that I named a baby who had no chance of living and could have killed me. So sorry so long. I just had some stuff I needed to let out. I don't really have any friends and only a handful of people (family) know I was even pregnant and lost the pregnancy so I've held in all my emotions and feelings concerning this pretty much. The few who do know don't talk about it and I think they just assume I'm okay or don't want to trigger anything so they don't say anything.