Anxiety

I work as an Aupair. I am also 6 months pregnant. The family i work for are very nice, but i have anxiety going into the kitchen when they have guests over. They have guests over every weekend. I skip meals all the time and I get so hungry.

Its mostly because I feel like i look like shit. I have to put on a full face of makeup and do my hair to feel comfortable. I dont really want to put on a full face of makeup ans do my hair just to go downstairs and eat then go back up to my room again.

Also they dont know I have tattoos on my arms and its the start of summer and I have to start wearing t-shirts because its too hot to wear long sleeve. Im scared they will judge. Im scared they will figure out that Im gay because of my tattoos. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I cant help it. All the family and friends they have over wvery weekend are mostly italian. I hate having eyes on me and getting asked questions.

I find myself hiding in my room days on end just watching netflix on my ipad. I only work 3 days a week and I have no friends or family here. I can feel myself starting to get depressed. Maybe its just my hormones, or maybe it's because I am extremely lonely. I still have another 2 months here before I fly home.

So lost right now