*hit send too soon* I just need 3rd party advice/ vent

Originally i accidentally hit send before i was done with this post. I had just got to the first round of court. So there is a lot more i added after!

Okay. This will be long so bare with me through it. So I’m going to give you all the information. So i was 18 a senior in high i started dating this dude Austin from a private catholic school in our town. Really never knew a whole lot about him because what 18 year tells anyone much. Well basically i knew he wanted to move to Florida and be a doctor and wanted out of Illinois (which who doesn’t Illinois is horrible) or so we dated for afew months and i got pregnant. He wanted abortion. Wanted nothing to do with it. Basically reused to even talk to me but wouldn’t actually break up with me. So i broke up with him. He wouldn’t go to a single doctor appointment didn’t want to help pick a name.

Tried to sign his rights away but we were told he couldn’t unless i got married to someone else or my parents adopted the baby. So he never got to. He was out of state when she was born. Didn’t see her until she was almost a week old. Well basically his parents fell in love with her. So when she was a month old they wanted her to stay the night with them when i said i wasn’t comfortable with it. They filed for joint parenting. So a year down the road and almost 20,000 dollars they got basically everything they wanted. Joint parenting one week Friday to Sunday and then next week Sunday to Tuesday visitation. Only had to pay 65 dollars a week in child support gets to claim her every other year on taxes. One of the main things we fought for was i have final say on school and religion since we didn’t want Ava to have to go to a catholic school. Which that’s about all we won on.

(Pause for some background, Austin’s parents are super rich and crooked people. His dad is the biggest realtor where we grew up so he pays people off and they threatened my first lawyer to drop my case. So they know everyone in the town we grew up. So overall they are not good people. They are very sneaky and know how to get their way. Now i know they love Ava and wouldn’t hurt her but that just gives more information on the type of people they are and how they like to have their way)

So now fast forward a few years. I get married to my husband matthew. Then in 2017 we have our first child together. This is when things start changing a lot.

So Austin starts dating some chick with super rich parents. And they both want to think they are better than everyone else and i am a horrible person. (So I’m a cosmetologist so i color my hair fun colors have tattoos. You know not a “normal” person 🙄) so after having my second child things change a lot Ava isn’t a only child there is more people in my life to care for a consider. Me and my husband have desperately wanted to move out of Illinois there is no money to be made here we live in a shity two bedroom trailer under my parents shadow (they have always been controlling and they gave us our house to they think they can still control everything we do. ) so right now our life is a constant battle of what Austin and his gf think i need to do and should do and if it’s not what they think they are against it. Then we have my parents that try to control every other aspect and decision in our life

There have been a few different places we have looked at awesome jobs and homes. I’ve tried to talk to Austin about arrangements we could make if we move out of state. Basically even offered he could have her during the school year. Well just to spite me he always says no. I tried to be super nice and talk about what we have been thinking about why we would like it. How it would benefit our lives. Gave several different options on if we did it how we could do visitations

Well this year Ava started kindergarten i originally wanted to home school her cause i wasn’t working anyway and would be easier. He straight turned it down saying Ava was too stupid for homeschool. So i dropped it and enrolled her in school the only school she could go to based on where we live.

So around this time we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd child. Surprise. So we already got a lot of shit on our mind and shit. Trying to figure out where we will live and put a 3rd child.

Well while all this is happening Austin bought a house even further away than he already lived. A solid 30 minute drive away. And decided he wants to drop child support since I’m married now 🙄 and he wants to do visitation he have her a week i have her a week shit. And he wants to send her to a private catholic school that would be a 20 minute drive for me. He made sure to mention money isn’t a issue he’d pay for it. 🙄. I have always tried so hard to work with him to make them happy. I told him he could have all that now if he would give us permission to move out of state. And basically said he would consider it if i agreed now to let him have what he wants. When i said i don’t think so. He said then he would take me to court.

So i get the court papers he legit claimed i don’t have Ava (i live next door to my parents and Ava does like spending time there but definitely not always there) and that i cut her hair and color it without his permission (i colored it once and it was summer and washed out in like two weeks. Plus that is what i went to school for) and i don’t bathe her and so she gets uti often. Which we all know that’s not how it works. And that i refuse to work with him and i enrolled her in school without his permission. (If you remember i get final and complete say in school and religion) and claims that the visitation schedule is ever changing and makes it too hard for him to plan things. He already has her more than most men get at this point. And i have always let him have her extra days or for vacations short notice. I even have always tried to make sure we both would have her on holidays like i have her morning and lunch and then he have her evening and dinner. But i “refuse” to work with him

So here we are now. Over 2000 in court already again. Have nothing accomplished they are just pull shit out their ass trying to make me look like a bad person. They are now requesting any police records in hopes to find I’m a bad person? I have never even had a speeding ticket.

It’s affecting my mental health. My marriage. And my relationship with my daughter. I literally hate this man more than anyone in the world. And he’s always making comments to Ava then she tells me. And back and forth. I’m just at a loss.

We are 100,000 in debt at this point I’m 26 weeks pregnant and dealing with a lot. Which some days i just want to give up and let him have her so i can finally breathe.

We just want to be able to be happy and actually be able to live where we want and do what’s best for us.

Basically everything i try to do he has a problem with it just to spite me

That then makes me feel horrible for even considering giving him my first born my precious girl. I love her so much. But some days i can just look at her and cry thinking about everything her dad is trying to put me through.

I am just so stressed and overwhelmed i don’t know what to do or think at this point.

If you made it this far thank you so much.

Any advice thoughts comments would be appreciated.