Need to vent

I guess I just need to vent. So I've always been overweight, I never knew what it was like to be a healthy weight. In June of 2017 I started my weight loss journey. It was far from easy but I ended up loosing 120 pounds, I was SO proud of myself but that didn't last long. I think I may have body dysmorphia. I got down to a weight I was comfortable with (I'll post pics) but people who knew me would make me feel like shit and call me things like anoxeric. Mind you I was a healthy weight well within the weight range that's healthy for my height and I lost my weight in a healthy way, diet and exercise daily. I think they just weren't used to seeing me at a healthy weight. but now I get panicked if I gain any weight because I never want to get that big again. Recently I've started to gain some weight back, about 10 pounds and I feel like such shit :( I feel like I look like a whale, and of course those who said I was anoxeric say I look good at this weight but I'm just not comfortable like I legit feel so fat and I know I'm probably not considered fat at this weight but I can't help but feel disgusting. I'm hoping to be able to lose a few pounds again and make myself feel better. Having lost so much weight messes with your head, with clothes on I may look okay but I have SOO much loose skin from the weight loss, it's like a slap in the face, I worked so hard just to have this constant reminder of how fat I was, the loose skin always makes me look bigger than I really am. Ugh I'm just emotional. I'll post pictures with this post of before I lost weight and a picture of where I was (kinda) happy with my weight and a current picture. Thanks to anyone who reads this long post. I'm just being a whiny baby but I needed somewhere to vent. I also recently just turned 30 which hit me hard so I think that has a lot to do with why I'm being so hard on myself about my body.