upset.

this probably isn’t the group for this post but i am really upset and need to vent, so i really don’t care i need someone to talk to. i’m 21, and i have a almost 1 year old on the 31st and i am 15 weeks pregnant and i am with and have been with the father for years. we have always had a good relationship, with the typical arguments. but we have came a long way together from going through addiction and partying together as teenagers, to having our own home, jobs, and family. In october i accepted a job opportunity as a manger in the mall, not understanding all the sacrifices i was gonna have to make for our family. i was promoted only after being there for a few months, and i guess i just expected it to be much different. my relationship with my boyfriend is so distant now because we never see each other anymore, since i work all day everyday. i cry almost every night because i just wish things could go back to how they use to be, when we were so happy and in love and now were extremely distant because i am never home anymore. same thing with my daughter, i never get to see her as much anymore. i see her for a few hours in the morning when she wakes up around 10, but i have to use that time to get ready for work and tighty up things since i don’t even get off work until 9:30 at night. i never have time to play with her or watch her learn new things. my parents help out a ton when they can, and they watch her while i work. when i get to their house at 10pm they always say “kennedy is so smart, today she did this!” they recently have been telling me that she’s taking her first steps and she’s walking, and i haven’t even been able to witness that myself. when i get home from picking her up, she goes to bed and it’s the same exact thing the next day. every day. when i get home i’m ready to relax and unwind so me and my boyfriend kinda do our own thing. he plays his video games and i watch makeup tutorials or color in my adult coloring book. i have completely lost my sex drive due to me never being home anymore. when i get home i’m ready to just relax and go to bed, so we honestly don’t do that anymore at all and if we do it’s every once in a blue moon. i know that’s also taking a toll on our relationship. not to mention at my work it’s just a ton of drama and negativity, someone is always talking shit about one another, i just always dread going into work and sometimes wonder if i even wanna get up out of bed to go. i loved my job when i was a regular associate. i still want to work, and i need to to be able to pay my half of the bills, and afford gas, and buy my kids what they need. but i feel like everything is going downhill. i thought about when i go on maternity leave just finding a new job, but i don’t think i can make it until then. i won’t be able to be a manager with 2 babies anyways, not until they’re older at least. i guess i just need advice because i’m so upset and don’t want to lose connection with my family. does anyone have any advice? me and my boyfriend don’t ever get a night to ourselves to go do anything, like on my days off. i never ask anyone to keep my daughter over night, unless it’s every once in a while. i just feel like because of this our relationship is on a thin line, and we never get to do things for us. he tells me he’s here for me, that he’s supporting me, and that neither of us our going anywhere, which is super encouraging. i just don’t know what to do. sorry for the long post