Just wanted to let this off my chest

I really don’t like having sex anymore , I dread every time my bf is in the mood and now it’s like I’m always trying to avoid it.. my boyfriend doesn’t pleasure me.. and it’s sad bro.. because sometimes you can’t help but ask why you know.. it’s always about him, he just focuses on himself I guess. No matter what he cums fast and can only last one round, he gets me off like once or twice a month or once every other month. But he gets off like everyday. After sex is depressing bc he falls straight asleep and I’m always up crying because it isn’t fair .. he’ll say sorry but he’s so used to it it’s really not even a big deal anymore. I just cry so often now bc I hate having sex all together now. I’m never present during it anymore, I’m always just waiting for it to be over. We’ve been together for a year but I’m just tired of having to pleasure myself when I’m living w my boyfriend.. Just pray for me I guess, I feel so trapped and disgusting