Advice welcome

So my SO can't work, has either Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Either way, when ever he gets a job, and he goes in, he has panic attacks. There's been only one job where it wasn't like that, but he lost it and they won't rehire him.

So that leaves me to go back to work and I'm worried about making enough to pump while I'm at work, my LO has been demanding to eat every hour and I was thinking of working morning shift, letting his grandparents watch him until his father wakes up. I'm kind of worried that they won't feed him when he demands it. It might just be a stupid worry wart thought...

I also worry about his father being able to take care of him. He acts like a bachelor but we've been together for over a year and he is no help and he doesn't have faith in himself to be able to do it.

I kind of want maybe a home health job, but I'm only 21 and I don't know the requirements for that.

I don't have faith in people to be able to take care of my kid, is that bad?

Sorry this was more of a rant...