Postpartum Depression

My baby will be 6 months old in 5 days. She is my sun, my world. My husband, my rock and my life.

Two days ago, I thought about killing myself. Not for attention, not out of anger, but out of pure sadness. My life isn’t perfect and I honestly don’t let people know about it because of my struggles.

I’m not saying this to feel pity or get attention, as some may say, but I’m sharing because I know someone somewhere feels empty and alone and needs to know, not that they are not alone, but that it’s ok.

It’s ok to feel sadness. It’s ok to feel like everything you fought for has now been done for nothing. It’s ok to feel like you’re drowning. But it’s also ok to ask for help standing again. To ask to be heard. To say “I need help” when you can’t pick up the pieces off the bathroom floor because you can’t feel anything anymore. It’s ok to run and find happiness.

There will come a moment in your life 5 years from now, 10, 20, maybe even 40 years from now, where you will stop and look back at that moment of darkness and say “I almost missed this.” It will be so small but you will know that it was all worth the wait.

It’s ok because it’s not the end as long as you don’t make it the end.