Is a parent selfish if they say they don't want a baby shower?

Question

I made it very clear that i did not want a baby shower when i was only 10 weeks. We found out i was pregnant at 8 weeks so as soon as we told people we made it clear no baby shower. Now I'm being called selfish and being told that a baby shower is not about the parents and is all about the baby and we are depriving her of things she needs. Keep in mind that we already have everything she needs and never said people couldn't buy her things. 
In case you're wondering why i said no to a baby shower:
 His family and my family do not get along whatsoever. 
Most of his family does not like me and think i am ruining his life and that our daughter is going to ruin his life even more (their words, not mine). 
I'm talked about almost nonstop by everyone they wanted to have at the baby shower so i would have been surrounded by negativity the whole time.
I don't want to be around all the yelling and smoking. 
Maybe it is just me but i feel like those are valid reasons to say no. Am i being selfish by not wanting one at all?

Answer

The reason a baby shower SUCKS is because it’s about the baby and not about the parents. The parents need to be honored and witnessed for their transition into parenthood. I did not like my baby shower experience at all. My mom threw me a blessingway, and that was incredible.

Answer

It's not selfish at all. There are alot of reasons people decide not to have one. My husband and I didn't because we live put of state and have no family where we live. If we lived closer we aren't sure we would have had one because we have split families that hate each other. Not selfish at all.

Answer

Just because people want to make it about a baby that couldn't care less because it's all snuggled up in a womb and has no idea what's going on, doesn't mean it's about the baby.
They are selfish because they are making the baby shower about them.
I never had a baby shower because nobody cared enough to throw one or would even come if I threw my own. My kids didn't suffer one bit.
Immature family members just can't help but fall apart into a childish fit when a baby is on the way. My in laws acted like total idiots after my child was born and we haven't had anything to do with them for almost 3 years now. Not so much as a hi or happy holiday or anything. Just silence.
You're doing a great job and kudos to you for getting your baby everything he/she needs by yourself and taking care of business!

Answer

We did a gender reveal and a diaper party together (hubby really wanted it) and it was such a pain ,we threw everything our selves, cooked for everyone. Then had family make demands on how we should do thing and who to invite (even tho they weren't helping with anything) and other family complain that it wasn't a real baby shower (we had been given almost everything we needed way before we even got pregnant so there was no point in asking for anything more than diapers) i was so glad when it was over and wont do another

Answer

To me it is the parent decision...I had a baby shower my first pregnancy but me and my husband decided this time not to have a baby shower and we also decided not to tell that we’re expecting until we find out the sex...my last pregnancy the baby shower gave me a headache because I was so tired of family calling 24/7 working my nerves...I stay in GA and my family is in NC they literally mad me mad because they though my I was suppose to keep traveling up and down the road when I was high risk and car rides were the worst I would puke the whole ride...so even though I know they are going to be mad guess what I don’t care they can call me what they want but I’m firm to my decision and I’m not doing a baby shower me and my husband started saving so we can be well prepared...

Answer

For this next baby we are going to have a sprinkle not a shower and just have my aunts and his mom and my mom and sister there that's it. Just because it will be 3 years apart with our 2 so there is some stuff we need. But I totally understand.

Answer

I didn't have a shower because I just don't like showers and they're not common in my husband's culture. I thonk it's BS when they say the shower is for the baby. The baby isn't even there. It's about gifts and fun. If you already have everything you need for the baby, no it isn't selfish.

Is a parent selfish if they say they don't want a baby shower?

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