Tearing during childbirth

Yes, let’s talk this. Haha.

So with my first, I had third degree tearing. Like I’m talking all the way to my butthole. Me and my husband couldn’t start having sex until 6 months (IF THAT) after. Yes I know. Haha.

So my question is for those who have had more than one vaginal birth:

Did you tear less/have less pain with the second? Or is it just completely random and I shouldn’t be holding out any hope? I’m not the type to get nervous about child birth, but after my first experience I just can’t help it. It was not fun healing. And I’m worried with my toddler it’s going to be even worse this time.

So I guess I’m just looking for reassurance, if that’s even possible? Hahah just tell me your experiences good or bad!