They refuse to induce me before 39 weeks

I’m so freaking done being pregnant. It’s been a looooong road starting with threatened preterm labour at 23w. Shortened cervix and dilated, another bout of threatened preterm at 29, 34, and 36w. with lots of times that I had painful contractions for a 2-5 hours between those times. Bed rest for 14 weeks...

Now 37 weeks, 4cm dilated, 90% effaced and have been having contractions constantly since 36 weeks - no more than 20 mins apart, usually less than 10 mins, and if I do ANYTHING they go to 2 mins apart and painful. So contractions ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I also had the bloody show on Monday.

I’m doing everything I can, red raspberry tea, dates, long walks, sex, bouncing on an exercise ball, nipple stimulation to get him out and nothings working thus far.

I can’t sleep, I’m constantly in pain and I’m absolutely miserable.

But they won’t help me for another two 2 weeks.

He’s already 8 lbs and would be perfectly healthy. I’ve given everything for this little boy to get here safely and would gladly do it all over again but I’m feeling SO defeated.

I know time in makes a difference but it can’t be good for him for me to feel like this either 😩 I just feel like an incubator and like I don’t matter at all. I’m just completely exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally... especially when they’ve been telling me he could come any time for the past 14 weeks.

Anyways, there’s my rant for the day. Thanks if you took the time to read