I’ve been in love with this one particular guy for over a year now. I met him at a party last October and instantly we started heavy flirting with each other. A few weeks after the party we had a double “date” with my best friend and his best friend which was nice and we went to Cookout after the movie and we all just sat around talking and laughing. The flirting kept happening and intensified through last December. We both came down with the flu at the same time and he joked “just a husband and wife supporting each other through thick and thin!” And whenever we tried to make plans to hangout we would always say “let’s just get married. Let’s go to Vegas and get an Elvis to marry us.” Then we finally go out just the two of us for a casual date in February of this year. It was so nice and I’d never been on a date before so my heart was soaring! I was dancing around in my room laughing and just feeling on top of the world. A week later he texts me and says “I know you’ve got a crush on me but I really don’t want a relationship right now... but I still wanna be your friend and I like spending time with you” but then that night he came over to watch a movie with me. Barely even 10 days after this all happened he suddenly tells me he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together for about 9 months and for a while I was too mad to talk to him so I didn’t talk to him over the summer. Then something happened and unexpectedly we became “friends” again. But not really friends. His girlfriend hates that we’re friends again and I’m trying to respect that but ive known him longer than shes known him and it fucking hurts to be pushed aside. Why can’t I stop loving him??? I dated my first boyfriend over the summer and so many times he was holding me but I was wishing it was the other guy. Which made me feel awful. The entire relationship was shit. I miss the first guy. I miss him with every fiber of my being... I need help. What should I do?