My fiancé saved my life this is for anyone out there who’s ever been in an abusive relationship

Ok this is gonna be a long one but I really want to tell my story. I met my exhusband during the first week of freshman year we dated off and on throughput high school and all the offs were because he’d cheat on me then when I’d find out and get upset he’d dump me and my pathetic ass would be devastated and begging him to come back every time which in return meant he got away with cheating on me. During our senior year his dad broke up with his step mom and was going to move back by his family but that meant my ex had to move too so my parents let him stay with us so he could finish school and we could be together. Side note all the years before that my parents hated him and tried keeping us apart but it didn’t work so they just gave in and let us be together. Well he moved and I mean in we had separate bedrooms the entire time my parents didn’t just let him move into my room. We graduated highs school and got married I was so happy I thought all the bad times cheating and break ups were behind us but I was wrong. Things started getting really bad it started with him getting mad at me for any and every thing I felt like any and everything I did was wrong and I’d blame myself for upsetting him and making him get mad at me. The first time he put his hands on me was bad. We’d gotten married and had a room in my parents basement together. The walls were cinderblock basement walls I’d made him mad I was bending over to get something and he grabbed me by my hair and started bashing my face/head into the wall. I apparently blacked out he put me to bed real quick cause my mom came down to see what the noise was about he said it was just the tv so she went back up. When I woke up he tried being like omg baby you fell but I remembered what happened even though he kept insisting “no Mandy you fell” i told everyone I fell cause I didn’t want them hating him anymore than they already did

It continued for 2 years I was horrified he told me repeatedly it was my fault I made him do it and I believed it hell part of me still believes it was my fault. He told me the only way out of that marriage was death. Time and time again I’d show up with black eyes and say I fell I tripped but my family and friends weren’t dumb I think they always knew

(^ this is me holding my ex’s niece)

We got our own place together and things really took a turn for the worst. I was living in hell always horrified of upsetting him and at the same time terrified of him leaving me or cheating on me again. I thought no one else would ever want me and that I’d never love another man like I loved him. Also I knew he’d go to far one day and I’d end up dead like I almost did so many times

(^ me and my fiancé’s nephew)

Well one day he up and decided to join the army I was horrified and devastated. I didn’t want him to go he’d cheated so many times in the past what would stop him now! But he told me I had no say in the matter so he joined the army he left for basic training on my 20th birthday. Shortly after him leaving I got into a fight with my best friend and found out she’d been sleeping with my exhusband for months while he was still living at home! I couldn’t believe it I’d been so afraid he’d cheat while being in the army and he’d been cheating all along before ever leaving! I was devastated but after days of sobbing I met a man while I was at work that changed my life forever. I was waiting tables at my family’s restaurant and this man came in I waited on him and he told me “smile it can’t be that bad” and for some reason I just broke down and told him evvvverything lol he kinda sat there and was like “well maybe it can be that bad but you don’t need that in your life your so beautiful and funny and sweet you deserve better!” He came in and ate every night that week he made me feel beautiful again for the first time in years. And I started to see I could have a life without my ex so I wrote him a letter and told him I was leaving him because I was too scared to tell him in person and I started talking to that man that came to my work and talked to me. But my ex kept acting like he didn’t get my letters and I wasn’t going to start a relationship before ending things with my husband no matter how terrible he was to me. So I went to his basic training graduation biggg mistake he told me I wasn’t going back home I was moving with him then and there. I texted the guy I’d been talking to and told him I needed help he was on the fire dpt and had friend on the police dpt. Me and my ex got in a huge fight he busted my lip open and when he went to go inside to get napkins for the blood he forgot the keys to my car and I jumped in the drivers seat and hauled ass out of there. I got home and filed for divorce. That was 6 years ago and I’m now engaged to the man that came into my job all those years ago and told me I deserved so much more

This was right when we got together I’d been through so much my ex always told me I was fat and wouldn’t let me eat more than one meal a day

This was us a year later pregnant with our daughter Brooklyn Nicole

And this is us now 6 years going strong. I do believe if it wasn’t for this man I’d be dead by now or at least still in a marriage to a horrible man. I love this man so much I can’t even begin to put it into words he saved my life and I’m forever greatful. My ex ended up getting kicked out of the army and was put in prison for 2 years for assault he tries getting up with me on Facebook sometimes but my fiancé always blocks him as soon as he tries.

This is our beautiful little girl

If your in an abusive relationship get out now it’s not going to get better it only gets worse, if your mans cheating on you leave once a cheater always a cheater and never believe you deserve to be hit NEVER no one deserves that and if anyone needs to talk I’m here I’ve been through it and survived. it’s not worth it I told myself for years I could fix our relationship and I could change him but that was never gonna happen. I was so afraid of him cheating on me that I agreed to/let him talk me into have a three some with me, him and my best friend it was so horrible seeing him be with another woman but I told myself I had to do it so he wouldn’t cheat on me and I figured it would make him more attracted to me since I was doing something kinky but it tore me apart, half way through I ran out crying and he tried to keep going without me in there with my friend but she went after me. It was that same friend that he ended up having an affair with! After making myself go along with a threesome to keep things interesting so he wouldn’t cheat he still ended up sneaking off with her and cheating on me I was devastated that I put myself through that for nothing. And it was the that I realized how bad things had truly gotten, so bad that I let him talk me into basically him cheating on me with me there. But as I said I was always to afraid to leave him because I loved him so much but during that time we were apart I got to have time to think about things and I was able to see what my family had been seeing for years, that he was no good for me. So get out while you still can and don’t for a second think you have to stay because no one else will want you because that’s not true it’s just something our abusers tell us to make sure we stay. At least take a break get away and see how life is without them. As as I said I’m here for anyone who wants to talk I want to help others going through abuse be it verbal, emotional, or physical because I went through it all and if I can help someone else even just one person then it means I didn’t go through it all for nothing

I want to add a picture of my ex on here to make sure no one ever gets hurt by him again but I have to ask no one looks him up and says anything to him because it horrified me that he’d find out I’m speaking out about the things he did to me. And idk maybe one Day I’ll be brave enough to share it with more people but for now I’m scared. I posted it on glow because I know he wouldn’t have glow. I wish I had the strength to post this on something like face book but I’m just to scared his name is Jonathan Parrish he sometimes goes by jp