Let me start from the beginning. My fiancé and I met over 6 years ago. We started dating 5 years ago. In those 5 years we both had intense surgeries that we were told could affect our fertility. We held on to hope but weren’t trying to conceive yet.

After 6 months of dating we decided to move in with each other. Yes I know it was soon. Especially since I was only 19 and still in college. I had a rough home life and it wasn’t safe for me to be in my home. So I moved in with his family. Then a few years later I graduated colleges and we bought a house! We were excited and the negative opinions of others didn’t matter to us. This was a picture of our first blizzard at the new house.

Then a few months later we felt like something was missing. We werent ready for a baby so we realized a dog is what we were missing. We rescued our pitbull Smokey from the shelter in June 2017. We became a family of three 🐾. He goes on vacations with us, road trips, and is beyond spoiled.

After my last surgery in July of 2017 my chance of fertility were slim. I had to have a Fallopian tube removed. I was told that since I have a history of Hydrosalpinx and ovarian cysts that there’s a possibility my other tube could end of being damaged in the future. We both had a long talk and decided to stop my birth control and start trying to conceive. The problem with stopping my birth control is that my period was extremely painful and creating cysts. I also have endometriosis. So under close examination of my drs they said we could start trying. We were so excited. The first few months I was on cloud nine. It’s all I could think about, baby this and baby that. But then after about 6 months with no results I started to fear the worst. We kept trying. Stopped talking about it and just hoped for the best. After 1 year we again had a long talk and decided to see a fertility specialist. That’s when our worlds flipped and we sunk into a depression. My fiancé was diagnosed with an extremely low sperm count. Our only options were donor sperm and adoption. I let him make the decision on which route we would try. To my surprise he chose donor sperm. He wants to experience pregnancy with me. It made my heart have little butterflies all over again and reminded me oh how much I loved this man!!!

We didn’t tell anyone what we were going through. We kept it to ourselves. We have been together 5 years. Every time we went out with friends or even family we got the questions of “when will you get engaged? Or when are you having kids?? Your in your 20s now, you better hurry” we would have excuses then I’d run off to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. We were saving money for the fertility treatments not a ring. No one had any idea what we were going through. We didn’t chose this life but we damn sure were rolling with the punches as best as we could! We weren’t going to lose hope.

Then in November of 2018 the most impossible thing happened!!! NIC PROPOSED 💍

I had no idea he was even planning this!! So now we have a baby and a wedding to plan for! We have a rollercoaster of a life but I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else. There are days I still sit down and cry because of the difficulty we have had to try to get pregnant verses people who aren’t even trying and still get pregnant. I’m battling the jealously demons in my heart and head. But through every tear he is right there with me in comfort and support.

Infertility is a silent emotional battle this is often not spoken of. So here was my story, ladies you are not alone. Your allowed to feel hurt, sadden, and defeated. But once your holding that baby, everything you went through will be well worth it! It will make you appreciate life more and be thankful for your partner who stood by you every single step of the way.