UGH it's probably hormones but my blood is BOILING 😤😡💢

Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do in the situation but DANG I’m still so angry! LONG RANT SORRY.

SO FIRST and intro and some backstory. My husband and I are expected and found out on November 27th. We’re over the moon excited, and we decided to tell one of my super good girlfriends right away, as well as my mom. We pretty quickly began sharing with our church family too (and asking them to keep it on the DL because we haven’t told my in-laws yet), and the support and excitement our church family has for us is amazing. After two losses, it’s great to have the additional support and prayer.

ANYWAYS, there is a couple at my church that my husband and I were friends with for a while. The last time we hung out with them was in January, and it was awkward. We were going through our second miscarriage, and we hadn’t told them about the pregnancy but one of the ladies from my group I had spoken with about needing prayer had mentioned it to the girl. (This lady then messaged me and was like ‘oh I screwed up I didn’t know they didn’t know’ which was super annoying too, but this was part of the reason this couple ‘hung out’ with us and we went to lunch). Husband and I did damage control because 1. we hadn’t seen them to tell them (I had found out maybe a week prior I was pregnant and we were already having a loss) and 2. it was awkward af. They didn’t say anything to us about it, but once we said what was going on it was “oh yeah so-and-so told us”. It was weird.

And in addition to that, I was already getting real frustrated with this girl. Her and I had been hanging out periodically, but I had noticed that every time I would bring up some rough things going on, she was quick to be all chipper and ‘compare’ her life to mine. For example, if I was talking about struggling with affording groceries, her response would be ‘oh yeah we’re draining our checking account with groceries each month, but I need to reallocate the way my paycheck splits between my savings account and put more in my checking”. I’m like…. ??!!! Girl all my money that we’re bringing in is in my checking account and WE CANNOT AFFORD GROCERIES. I talked about being in a tough spot financially, she talks about how she was dying to get a puppy and rather than wait to look at shelter dogs she goes out and buys a dog for $1000. But she’s telling me she’s struggling? LOL OKAY. She totally doesn’t get it. The constant comparison and just overall fake ness rolling out of her is killing me.

When there was a ladies outing with some church ladies, she was there. I had come from my doctors appointment with a specialist to talk about looking into why I’ve had 2 miscarriages (my doctor was super nice and started sending me to specialists and doing work-ups even though this typically happens after 3 in a row). So some of the ladies asked how it went, and I explained how they’ve done most of the workups they can and nothing is coming back, so even if they could tell me what might have caused my losses, there isn’t anything they can do about it. Hardly a beat later, this girl is talking about “oh I’m just focusing on being a puppy parent right now all my love is going to my puppy.”

LET. ME. TELL. YOU. That table got awkward reallllll fast. I was PISSED. Don’t make light of my losses and situations when I’m desperately trying to be a human parent and talk about you just being a ‘dog mom’. 😒

At this point I’m so over this girl. Is it bad to say that thankfully she’s hardly at church anymore due to work and school, so I don’t have to interact with her. I stopped trying to get together with her (and I was the one initiating most all of the time we spent together beforehand anyways). So her and I didn’t hang out. I saw her over the summer at church and she’s all ‘I miss you so much I’m on vacation next week we should get together’. I just said “okay, well I’m always free so just get a hold of me and let me know what works for you”. (I wasn’t working the time, long story there, but literally home all day every day so I’m always free but I don’t know other people’s schedules). BUT GUESS WHAT? YEP, never heard a thing from her. Which I was a little relieved about but also like wtf? Don’t act like you miss me and want to make plans and then don’t?!? Another instance was when the ladies group got together for dinner again and she was there. She hugged me as she left and was all “I miss you just so you know!” and my only response was “yeah it’s been a while” 😂 I’m not gonna lie and say I miss her because I don’t. Avoiding her has been my goal. And I never hear from her. The few times I see her at church and can't avoid her, it would be ‘oh how are you’, a brief conversation about some of my struggles and then her jumping into everything going perfect in her life (you know, like recently buying a house and their puppy and whatever else).

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be happy for the things going good in her life. But if someone isn’t willing to actually be there and be supportive during my hard times, it makes it really difficult to be happy for them. 🙄

OKAY so there’s some background on this chick’s and my relationship falling apart. Well my husband and I decided we didn’t really want to tell them we were expecting again. We were fine with them finding out through social media (and hopefully that would get the hint across that I don’t miss her and I don’t want a relationship with her). This Sunday we had a young adults event at church, and very surprisingly this girl and her husband showed up to it (she has really only shown up to church maybe once every two months or so, so it was weird). I was in the cafe getting a bagel because I was nauseous and needing something substantial, but I told my husband to go up to the gathering and I’d join him shortly. There was 1 couple at this gathering that knew we were pregnant (we’ll call them T & M). T asks my husband how I’m feeling. And my husband can already see how this is going to go. He’s honest, says I haven’t been feeling great (constant nausea daily all day). Well the chick’s husband (the chick I’ve been ranting about, we’ll call her B, husband E) asks my husband why I haven’t been feeling good. T turns to E and B and says “Oh you don’t know?!”. My husband being the saint he is does damage control again. He lets them know why I haven’t been feeling good and we didn’t tell them because we haven’t seen them and wanted to tell them when I was there too. 😂🤦‍♀️ So I get up to the room with my bagel, T looks at me and honestly looks regretful and was like ”I sorta dropped the ball”. E gets out of her seat and runs to give me a hug and says ‘I’m so happy for you”.

I left that gathering pretty quickly after that. I was sooooooo annoyed. I did not want this girl to know, we had asked people to keep in on the down low and T accidentally spilled the beans (and really I know he felt bad so I’m not super angry at him but still super annoyed?!). I just wanted to tell people on my terms. 😒 Is that really so much to ask or hope for? NOT TO MENTION there was another guy in the room that recently joined the group and has been giving everyone SUPER weird and uncomfortable and creepy vibes, and he inevitably found out too. 😫 UGHHHH it was just such an uncomfortable situation and I’m so unhappy about it. Am I overreacting??? Is me attempting to cut this girl out justifiable?!

Just…. UGH.