I have ptsd and panic attacks, but I don’t know why. The only things I know that have happened to me are being assaulted in third grade (not sexually and it was at school) and recently being sexually assaulted by a classmate in school. I’m not actually positive it happened because I have a metal illness that makes it impossible to tell if I’m experiencing reality or not (sometimes. When this happens I generally just try and ignore it so I don’t go insane).

This guy has been acting kind of creepy for a while before this, too. He will go and stand super close behind other classmates and watch them. I can’t tell if he’s watching us work or watching us. This is an advanced art class, so observing another student isn’t weird.

Anyway, the other day he was watching me work on a paper cutout, which involves exacto’s and makes me feel generally nervous. He was really close to me, but I didn’t want to acknowledge his presence, in hopes that he would leave. At some point, and this is the part I’m not sure really happened, he touched my thigh. I don’t recall for how long, but after a while he walked back to his seat and went back to work. I was confused and asked some other girls if he’d done the anything creepy and they said he made them uncomfortable too. I haven’t told my BF about it, and I really need to do he understands. I nearly had a panic attack the last time he tried to cuddle, which is normally fine.

Anyway, I’m scared that something happened in my childhood that I’ve blocked out and when my BF and I decide to get more physical it’ll come back and something bad will happen. I’m having a panic attack now from rethinking all this stuff... what should I do or say? Should I tell my teacher? I’m not even sure it happened...