Wrote this about my EX (don't judge)

I sit with my phone glued to my hands

Jumping back and forth through apps

In hopes you'd reach out

Your toxicity flows through my veins, I'm use to the Rush and numb my brain

I am free from your guilt and insecurities that once held me back and diminished me to nothing

I'm craving it

As it's now in my DNA

To accept less than I deserve

And justify it to be ok

You get on meds and suddenly change

I see a man I should've been with

Instead I got the ruined model

You have your family to preoccupy you

While I left mine to be with you

I hate you

But I love you

But I hate you

I regret you to this day

As you sucked my suns and moons away

Once you're alone again and I've become content

You will reach out like you never left

Then I will swoon and wish I got the better model

But you're still broken

I see through your charm

You will not do me harm

I'm learning my faults and my ways

To someday change

And rewrite my DNA