This stress is so difficult.

It’s so hard. I’m 28+3 with the most sweet and silly baby girl and I’m just convinced I won’t get to keep her. My stress and anxiety won’t let me believe that she could actually be born perfectly healthy and stay that way.

I’m always worried that either my water is broken or the cord is in my vagina. That’s my biggest irrational fear. I constantly worry that the cord has prolapsed because sometimes it does feel like there’s something in there and then I get checked out and.. nothing. I can’t go to l&d everytime I worry that I’m leaking waters or the cord is out because I would be there everyday.

I want her out where I can see her. I know I’ll just have an entirely new set of fears but so much of this fear comes from the fact that I can’t see her, and see that she’s just fine.