I’ve posted previously but now the problem has changed..... My husband and I have what I felt like was a pretty solid marriage. Aside from the occasional disagreement, we work well together, sex has been pretty regular, we spend a little time together every day, etc. But recently a mutual friend got a divorce and we both noted it was hard on her. He let me know he wanted to text her and check in on her and I didn’t mind. That was three months ago. My problems comes because now they text every day, 15 or more times. The conversations are innocent (no sexting/flirting), and he tells me he is texting her and what they are talking about if I ask, but I keep getting horrible feelings about it.i posted previously and asked if I should confront him about it- I did. He claims he doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong because he is being honest and open, the conversation is innocent and they are just friends. They don’t even live in the same state so I know they aren’t physically meeting up or anything. We decided to set up “boundaries” and decided they can be friends but they needed to cut down the talking, and he agreed not to message her past 7 at night.
But the last month or so things have got a little different again. We had a fight earlier in the month, and I noticed later that he had sent her texts asking for advice about it. He isn’t as open anymore, and I noticed that he has text her past our boundary time, etc. If I bring her up he tends to say I’m “nagging” and that he just wants friends but if it makes me that uncomfortable he won’t talk to “anyone anymore”. I’m lost what to do from here. I don’t like giving ultimatums because I feel like once they are said they can’t be taken back. I don’t want to leave. I want the marriage to work. We have a baby, but he just doesn’t seem to care that this is hurting me. Or if he does care, it isn’t enough to change his ways without it being a whole big ordeal. He has other female friends and coworkers who he has a “friendship” with and I’m not worried about them because he doesn’t talk with them as frequently/all day long, etc. What’s my next step? I don’t want to control his relationships but this one makes me uncomfortable beyond belief and I don’t feel like I should feel uncomfortable in my own marriage.