Um would you deal with this?? đ
This is long but please please stick with me and give me some advice.
So my boyfriend, soon to be fiancĂ©, who âloves me more than himselfâ didnât get me anything for Christmas. Because âno gifts this yearâ is all he has said about it, after I had already gotten him a gift, we usually exchange gifts every year. He acts like I shouldnât care an ounce. Itâs not necessarily that he didnât get me a gift that bothers me, itâs his lack of communication about âno giftsâ and I had no input or an explanation given to me. I still gave him my gift.
He didnât come with me to visit my parents like other years. He said he had to work and he said he hopes I have a good time. He didnât see anyone for the holidays. Then I saw on his phone (we let each other have access to our phones) that he told a coworker âweâre off all holidaysâ when I confronted him he said since he is a supervisor he still had to be there for a few hours. I decided to believe him and drop it.
He also admitted to me he did not want to see my family (there is no reason for that other than he doesnât like family time as he said to me- my family and him get along very well). My family still got him nice Christmas gifts but he didnât reach out to them to give them a personal thank you nor has he used or wore anything they got him. I didnât give him any shit about any of this because I didnât want to let him ruin my Christmas and I just wanted to be happy with him. I thought maybe he has been stressed from work and I didnât want to make him more stressed. I had been doing everything in my power to not cause drama.
Then last night New Yearâs eve I get home and heâs laughing up a storm on the phone with a male work friend. When heâs done like a switch turned off, he starts acting like a grump. I ask him to open some sparkling wine I brought home for us and he said he canât open it because the opening is âsketchyâ I asked him twice to please open a different bottle of wine I had sitting in the fridge then. He does but then lays on the couch, doesnât say a word to me, I try to talk to him about my family, excited that I got to see my sister and nieces and nephews since last year, he engaged in the convo a little but kept closing his eyes. I told him if he wants to sleep go to bed itâs ok. He said no heâs not tired and continued just laying there in silence. I asked him if thereâs anything wrong and he said no everythingâs fine.
I told him I really wanted to just talk to him, about anything. I tried to get him to laugh by telling funny stories about my family but no reaction. I asked him what he would like to talk about. He said nothing. I said ok, then letâs talk about our future (since he never talks to me about it) I said âdo you want to keep living in this apartment or buy or rent a house next year?â He said it doesnât matter and âdetails arenât importantâ I said ok actually weâre not talking about details weâre talking about something that matters. So what are your goals next year? He said to move back to California. I said thatâs not realistic (it truly isnât for us). He agreed but kept not wanting to talk to me. I said âwould you move to California if I didnât go with you?â He said no. But seemed unhappy. I said âwhat about me? Do you not think I have wants and goals? You donât even ask me.â He said âyou can do whatever you want and I will support you 100%â I said very calmly and kindly âare you have any money issues?â He said no and everythingâs fine. I do believe him but Iâve had my doubts (he does not tell me how much he has in his account and never has asked me how much I have in my account).
He kept acting like heâd rather be anywhere except here with me and Iâm like do you want to watch a movie? He said no. I said ok then letâs go to bed. He just laid in bed not touching me (as usual) until I initiated sex and he quickly came inside me knowing Iâm not on birth control right now and then when I showed my disappointment that I didnât come, he said âgo to bed.â It was 9:30pm at this time.
I woke up at 3am to him not in bed, playing video games in the living room. Now itâs the next day, I have to go back to work tomorrow, and he is sleeping the day away.
I feel like I deserve better. Iâm very upset and donât know what to think. I do love him very much and donât want to leave. I want a future with him. And he has told me before he wants to marry me and have kids with me and wouldnât leave me for anything.
Iâm in my mid 20s and him mid 30s, weâve been living together for 2 and a half years in case this helps.
Letâs Glow
Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy
Glow helps you navigate your fertility journey with smart tools, personalized insights, and guidance from medical experts who understand what matters most.
25+ million
Users
4.8 stars
200k+ app ratings
20+
Medical advisors