**Update: After the insane emotional roller coaster, my nurse called me first thing this morning and said there IS a baby, and the heart beat is 126 😊

(and she said she'll never refer anyone back to that original hospital...

Thank you for keeping me grounded, I really appreciate it!**

I know emotions start running wild, and hormones flare during pregnancy, but I feel like my anxiety is taking this to a whole new level.

Anyone diagnosed with anxiety/mood disorders have any tips on managing it?

Bit of a break down (sorry if this gets long)..

At around 5 and a half weeks, I went in for my first ultrasound.. The tech did an abdominal scan ONLY. I remember thinking about everything I've read, and how that seemed out of place as I was walking out of the hopsital, but assumed that they were the professionals, so they should know what they're doing.

Just after Christmas I get the call from my nurse with the results. She said I should prepare myself, as they didn't see anything on the ultrasound.

I'm not a cryer, but I broke down.

I started talking to her about the abdominal scan and she was like, "whoa, what?" - she was shocked that there wasn't a transvaginal one done. (And validated my feelings that have turned into anger at this point, at the sonographer..)

She immediately ordered another ultrasound (highlighting TV this time) and sent it to a completely different hospital (at my request - at this point I didn't care about driving an hour away if it meant I saw someone who knew what they were doing).

I was 7 weeks when I had the scan done on Monday. The tech said I should hear about the results by the end of the day...

And.. Nothing.

Realistic me says it's the holidays, so things may take longer.

Anxious me says my nurse got the results back that day, but didn't want to ruin the rest of my holidays.

I can't sleep. My anxiety is making me feel sick...

I'm hoping I hear back from my nurse tomorrow. I've taken an extra day off work now because my head will definitely not be in the game until I find out (and I'm a social worker, so I owe it to my clients to be present).

I'm sorry this is such a long post....