Look, I’m not against porn. If you’re in it, whatever. If you watch it, whatever. I do, however, have some insecurity issues that have recently been stirred up by my new boyfriend. He watches it and has been honest and upfront about it. He tells me it’s fantasy and nothing more. He’s said that when he’s with me, he’s thinking about me & all that. I just can’t stop the nagging feeling that comes with this. I’m used to being this center of a man’s sexual fantasies (with my ex, who would watch videos of ME). It makes me feel like I’m not enough. Like, why wouldn’t you just rather call me up and have sex with me? I hate feeling like I’m in a relationship with him and porn. But I definitely, at this point, don’t have the right to ask him to not watch porn. And I know he won’t. There are some other issues — his emotional availability — that lead me to believe he wouldn’t stop. We’ve been seeing each other for about 2 months, so it’s definitely too soon, but I feel like this will be an issue down the road for us.

He doesn’t see it as cheating and to and extent I agree, but I also feel like if you’re choosing porn over your partner, that’s an issue. I’m not accusing him of doing that, but I send him videos and photos and they’re just apart of an extensive library of visual aids. I’m not necessarily looking for advice, though if you guys have a way to delicately bring it up or talk about it in the future, that may help.

Also, I’m not looking for any “porn is wrong” people because I already feel like garbage about it and I’m trying really hard to be flexible and understanding with him. 😂

Just wanted to vent because it’s constantly gnawing away at me and I was wondering if there were others in this situation.