Mini rant, gotta vent, sorry a bit long

Feeling so frustrated, finally got his semenalysis results and appears he has low motility and morphology

He has put off going back to the Dr for this (getting his results reviewed by the specialist) (for over a year!) and basically admitted he was afraid of the results, cuz he had his suspicions, and that it would be his fault that we haven't conceived in 3 years of trying (especially since I've had 2 kids already by ex husband, and he's never even had a pregnancy scare with an ex)

But was perfectly ok with letting ME keep going thru procedures, surgery, medicines, tests, tracking stress, etc to try and pinpoint why it's not happening and everything with me keeps coming back good

I'm hurt, frustrated, angry, disappointed: at him, at the issue, at the process, at the situation, at the fact that if we'd known this about 2 years ago when he first got tested, i wouldn't have had to have surgery, a dye test, rounds of clomid that were excruciatingly painful among other things and could've been using that time and money and effort on fixing/working on the REAL problem

Yet somehow I'm a bit relieved to know for sure, finally, it's not me, my body didn't do a complete 180 and suddenly become infertile for some unknown reason