Baby Shower Dilemma

Six months ago when we started planning my baby shower, I explicitly asked my significant other if he wanted the shower to be co-ed. I explained how sometimes the men do something else while the women do normal shower stuff, so it doesn’t have to be all girly. He said he did not want to be at the shower and did not want it to be co-Ed. He said he wanted it to be my special party, and he would just kinda stop by and say hello and then go have drinks and food with his brother. I was completely okay with that.

So fast forward, and we are a few weeks from my shower. I mentioned a friend was coming and bringing her husband. My significant other was super unhappy. He said under no circumstance did he want men at the party. At first I thought it was strange, but he explained that it made him look like a “schmuck”, since he is the dad and would not be attending. I completely understand why he would feel that way, and I asked my friend to leave her husband behind. I mentioned that my brother in law and little brother would also be at the shower. He said that they needed to come hang out with him and his brother during the party. Okay, that’s fine.

Here’s the thing: I have a lot of family coming from out of town. My sister is coming from California to throw me this shower, and a lot of people are going to want to visit with her as well. So, unfortunately, some of my friends and family want to bring men and boys with them. I don’t know what to do. My significant other is very introverted, and doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of men (most of which he doesn’t know), during the shower. He made that clear. He doesn’t want to be forced to hang out with people. However, my cousin just told me she was bringing her 15 year old son and her husband with her. I don’t know what to say. They are driving several hours to come to the shower, and I don’t want to make anyone feel unwelcome.

I feel so stressed out, because I don’t know how to kindly ask people to leave their significant others and teenage boys at home. I want everyone to be able to come, and I know some won’t, if I ask them not to bring men. Also, this may be the only chance my sister gets to visit with some people. And I can’t tell the men to go hangout elsewhere with my significant other, because he doesn’t want that.

I understand my significant other’s point of view, but I am not sure he is able to empathize with mine enough to compromise. Last time we discussed it, he got very upset. He spent a lot of money on the food and venue, so I don’t want him to be upset.

What do I do?? 😩😩