Today I had my first miscarriage. I was told there isn’t a baby in the sac, that it was there and then it had dissolved into itself. My symptoms started disappearing just before Christmas and I’ve never been pregnant before so I didn’t know what was “normal”. My levels were still ok last week but they are getting checked again in a few days to see if they are starting to drop. It was my second ultrasound with nothing there. I chose to wait it out a little to pass naturally and go from there. How long is a normal time to pass it naturally? The more research I do the more terrifying it sounds when it happens. I don’t feel pregnant anymore at all, no symptoms, no bloat. The loss is huge. You always hear peoples stories and you are like that won’t happen to me, and well obviously it can. I guess I knew deep down that something wasn’t right. I just want it to pass and then I can grieve fully and have something to look forward to again, even though I will be terrified and anxious the whole time. To all the mothers who lost their babies, I found this quote that gives me hope that it can get better for us and I hope it can help you feel that way too.

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”.

Goodbye my little blueberry ❤️