Hi my names sam, i joined this group because lately i just cant decide i mean sometimes i feel like i should keep living and push forward and be something and just rise about all the negitivity in my life rather than let it pull me down. But i feel like im out of strength.. i feel like i cant anymore i feel alone. Im tired of living the same horrible life everyday and if i do keep moving forward ik forsure its only gonna get harder and harder. And if i leave – i can rest. All i want to do is rest, its a feeing that no matter how much i sleep this feeling never goes away. Dieing would give me the rest i need, i dont mind the thought of never seeing another day of life again. Sometimes my own thoughts scare my self. For years ive been dealing with depression, i feel like i am in such a dark place rn there is no out. No one understands the pain i feel on a daily basis and no one understands how my life really feels worthless. Ig all im waiting for is the right time.. there never will be but i think there will be a reasonable time when no ones at my house and i can just lay and bleed out and full fill my need of rest once and for all.. this sounds dark but this is how i feel and no one cares ive told my family and my bf but i guess no one will take it seriously until the day i do it. I feelclike im crying out for help and no one will help me. I live every day in agony i feel so much pain, im only 17 and still have wishful thinking of hopes and dreams but in all reality lifes only gonna get harder and harder so why keep moving forward.? Im done . theres no purpose in continueing on. What is the after life? What is my life really ? Im tired . Everywhere i go i hope for god or someone to just do me the favor and kill me so i dont have to do it my self or seem weak for doing it. I am strong for living 17 years of a horrible life with no love. I am strong. Just because i want to die doesnt make me weak, im not givin up, for once in my life im being selfish and making a choice of what i think is best for me..