I need to get this off my chest.

I can’t stop thinking about my ex and I’m gonna explain why. We have a lot of history. My ex’s birthday is January 5th and that day (this past Friday) a picture of us showed up on my Snapchat memories from 2 years ago. I still remember that day, clear as ever. We had just started talking and hanging out and I wanted to spend time with him for his birthday. Ever since I saw that picture, I’ve been constantly thinking about him and our memories from the 10 months we were off and on (mostly on). Songs that remind me of him like Baby Be Crazy, Way Back and My Kind of Crazy all by Brantley Gilbert (the last one of our song) have been coming on through my Bluetooth when I’m on my way to work. I’m currently in a relationship and have been for over a year and I love him so much. We’re about to move in together and are trying to have a baby. I’ve found the love of my life; however a lot of shit went down with my ex and I. Long story short, I did him wrong (cheated) and did everything I could for 5 months to get him back (those 5 months are when we were off and on) and it worked for a little while but he would keep changing his mind about being with me on and then leave me over and over again. Before anyone asks what I did exactly, I send naked pics to my ex (he was a very manipulative ex, didn’t wanna he with me but didn’t want anyone else to have me). Even with doing this, I loved my ex very much. I know they say “you’re trash if you cheat” and “you’re not really in love if you cheat”. Well, I’ll take being called trash but no one can say I didn’t love him because I did with every bone in my body. I felt obligated to send those pictures...... When I got upset at home, I would write my feelings down in a letter to him instead of texting him or calling and bothering him. Eventually, I gave them to him. All 35 letters.. One of them was 6 pages long, front and back. Last time we talked, he said he had kept his letters and saved them for a rainy day and read them all. We don’t have any hard feelings between us anymore but I just feel awful for thinking about him so much while being in a relationship. I started dating my current boyfriend a month after we broke up for the last time. If it sounds like a toxic relationship to you, it definitely was toward the end, unfortunately but I take the blame for that. If I wouldn’t have cheated, I have no doubt that we would still be together today. I’m not really asking for advice, but if you’ve shared this experience, please share your story with me. No negativity please!!