I don’t trust my bf because of his involvement of flirting with girls through snap chat and who knows where else to get nudes for his friends...very good reason to not trust him even though as he claims “not a big deal” because he didn’t mean it and he doesn’t care for it..and yet if he really didn’t care wouldn’t he just not be involved..?

If I don’t trust him why am I still with him..? Something I keep asking myself...and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t trust me even though I’ve done nothing of the sorts, I’m assuming it’s because of his own doings that he feels well if I did this she must be doing something too...if there’s no trust is this relationship even going anywhere? We’ve been together for 3 years and I found about his wrong doings almost a year ago I’d say..is he even worth it.

I’ve broken up with him on 2 occasions..the first is when I snooped through his phone ( I know it’s wrong but it was one of those gut feelings telling me to just do it because I felt if I asked he’d say no) and first found a video of some girl

Second time is when I decided to check again to make sure it’s all clear and it wasn’t...both times he’s managed to pull me back in...I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I couldn’t stick my ground and i also felt bad because even though he did all those things i can feel that he does care for me and I didn’t want to hurt him.

I’ve realized now that I put aside what i feel in order to maintain his happiness. But I want to feel completely happy too not just in short bursts...I wanna feel happy like I felt in the beginning even before the relationship.

I don’t like admitting it but I feel he does more harm to me than good. Being with him is stressful considering other circumstances we’re under but I can’t seem to cut the relationship off.