How do you

Transfer anxiety and depression into a healthy activity. I’m in the process of trying to get to a psychiatrist or a doctor who can help me with my mental state which is very quickly deteriorating. My fiancé and I got into a huge fight last weekend and he’s totally shutting me out. This might actually be the end of it and I’m not coping well. I have a long history of abandonment issues which have really fucked me up with my attachment issues and whatnot. My anxiety is now so bad I’m not sleeping or eating. When I eat I have diarrhea within thirty mins. I’m crying constantly, I can’t get my mind off of the situation. My friends are here for me but I know secretly they think I’m insane and don’t have self worth. What kind of woman continues to text someone when they’re being ignored? What kind of woman cries over someone who won’t give her the decency of at least a closure talk? I’m going mentally insane and I don’t want to be like this. I’m working out first time in a long time, I’m trying to distract myself but at the end of the day I’m the biggest mess and idk how to stop and think and rewind. He won’t listen to anything I have to say he’s reading my texts and sometimes responds and sometimes doesn’t I’m going insane. Why would he do this to me?