Just need to get it out

I think it was thursday morning, the first morning after i came home from the hospital, and i had my 2 day old baby girl swaddled and laying flat on my bed right after i fed and burped her. My mom came into my room to see how we were doing and about 5 minutes into her being there baby spit up but didnt turn open her mouth enough to get it out, and she stopped breathing. I quickly picked her up and tried burping her again but she still wasnt breathing and her face was turning red and she was straining her head up like she was struggling so hard to breathe. I put her down and unswaddled her and my mom flipped her over tilted downwards and tried burping her that way while i got the bulb syringe and tried sucking out the spit up from her mouth. I have never felt so helpless. Finally she cried and started breathing again. It was easily the scariest thing ive ever experienced.

Luckily i had an appointment with the pediatrician that morning, and when i told her about it she said it was actually a normal developmental sign, that her epiglotis (spelling?) flopped shut when she spit up to prevent it from getting into her lungs, but it just took a little bit to open back up again. Very scary, but very normal and if it were to happen when im not there it would still open up on its own even without me burping her.

So that definitely made me feel better that day, but ever since i am so beyond worried about her breathing. Sleeping is really hard, any noise she makes and i immediately think shes choking or cant breathe. I get so nervous with her in the car seat because i feel like her head is too forward and she wont be able to brreathe. I cant put her down. Any time i put her down i cant stop staring at her chest to make sure she's breathing. I constantly imagine that im going to wake up one day and she's going to be blue in the face and dead. It is so scary i cant handle it. I cant lose her and i keep feeling like im going to and its so fucking scary. I love her so much i cant lose her i dont what to do.