Give Him A Chance or Only Co -Parent ?
Hi Ladies , not looking for any judging just asking for your opinion about a dilemma I have. So here is the story:
A little lengthy but please help my pregnancy brain reason this out.
I have 3 children and my ex was a complete liar and cheater but I stayed as long as I could for the kids. After he had cheated on me with several prostitutes I was done. But my trust in men was gone. I started to date after a few months of breaking up and there was one guy I met that I really liked and he liked me. We had sex 3 times and well, I got pregnant. He didn’t think the baby was his for the longest.
Anyway by time I was 7 months he saw a sonogram photo on Facebook and he contacted me and said the baby picture looks like him and he asked me was it his. At that time (don’t judge me ) I was like no. I didn’t want anything to do with with him because when I got pregnant he kept talking to other women, sleeping with them and didn’t think it was his. On top of that I knew he was from another but recently found out he has no papers. He works but not legally . He drives but doesn’t have a legal license. He is not a bad person but we’re both in our early 30s and he does appear to be immature in some things. He is not as ambitious but does show interest in success. He seems like he needs a mother sometimes, ill add.
He kept reaching out and I finally said yes the baby was his, but I didn’t want him around right now because his past drama and immaturity. After I told him , In a matter of 2 days he went from liking me to loving me. Everyday missing me. Bringing me food from his mom. Asking questions and talking about baby as if we’re together and can start over like 123. Then he told his whole family about the baby (he once told me they were racist and uppity) I am an educated black classy woman. They are European.
Now he claims that they love me and excited about the baby etc. etc. I don’t know what to believe because it came from his mouth that they were not nice in the first place. They want him to live with me. Talking about we need to work together for the baby and be together etc. etc.
In my head I think maybe they just want him to get his papers ( married for paper). I don’t know. But I won’t lie the mother had been very nice. But her son fed me a different versing of her even though now he claims it’s the last and now they accept me because I have his baby. He wants to be a family.
I’m educated. Have 3 little boys. I care for. I pay my bills. I own a home and rent another home. I work full time and have a great career. I’m beautiful and successful.
He is ok. He is a gentleman. Romantic type and sometimes views love as a young kid floating in rainbows. He has 1 other son and I will admit he is an attentive dad. But he doesn’t have anything going on for him right now. he claims one day when he gets his papers he will do everything. He wants us to be a family.
What do you think? I can’t pull my pregnant brain together to reason in rather I should give him a chance or not.
UPDATE: Just Incase your confused. This guy did not cheat on me. My ex, if my other children did. I left him but didn’t trust anyone. Slept with someone else and we got pregnant. There was no love just a lot of chemistry and attraction. One thing led to another.