I give up.

I feel horrible & drained... I had my 4th miscarriage Sunday night. I was 8w and 1d. I was supposed to have my first ultrasound yesterday instead. I was told I can always try again. I’m tired of trying again and again. I lost a daughter, a son, & 2 sets of twins. I just feel completely done. I don’t want to hear. There’s always a next time. I don’t want a next time. I wanted it this time. I’m so close to ending it all. And no once cares. No one would notice because “she’s fine she’s been through this before.”