A note for my fathers new wife

A message I wish I could send to my biological father's new wife and step daughter:

I visit your Facebook page often.. as I know you and your family does mine.. and I am oddly happy.. I am happy for you all. I am happy that you get to experience the happiness I deserved. The happiness I wish I could have had growing up. The adventures that we're supposed to be mine. The smiles, the warmth, the sun, the wind.. all of those things that I never got to experience. I am happy you don't have to have the experience with that man that I did.. the screaming, the constant screaming.. oh, and the hitting, kicking, "wrestling".. all of the things that were a constant day to day for myself, brother, and mother. The manipulation, waking up every Christmas to a grouchy man that would scream at you for waking him and not getting ready fast enough. It was never a holiday if you weren't crying by the time you got to the car.. " All crying is going to do if give you a stuffed up nose and headache". His famous line anytime anyone cried.. it still replays in my head every time I cry.. but.. as I said, I am happy. I am happy you never have to replay "the day" in your head. I'm happy you never have to know what that phrase means either.. the day.. the day is what my brother and I refer to THE DAY that our father attempted to kill our mother in front of our eyes. THE DAY is the day we watched as he slammed her head against a chair and forced a Walmart box cutter to her throat. THE DAY is the day we realized just how crazy he was. THE DAY is the day we question.. if he killed her, would we have been next?! THE DAY is the day we barely got away.. THE DAY is the day we remember EVERY TIME WE SEE HIS FACE, HEAR HIS VOICE, OR SMELL HIS COLONGE. But.. I am happy.. for you. Happy for your daughter. Happy for him. I am happy. We, are happy.. Stop trying to take what LITTLE BIT of happiness we have left. We have moved on. We still dream of THE DAY. We still talk about it. We still remember it very clearly despite what you or anyone else may believe, there were 4 people in that house that day. And only 1 of their stories is different from the rest.. you may believe he isnt a monster.. but you weren't there.. you don't relive it in your head every day.. my brother has finally opened up. His stuttering stopped the second he got away from you. He is no longer afraid. He is a great student. He is a great brother. He is a great Uncle. Stop trying to control what you think is yours.. our last conversation, the last time we ever talked. He asked me "why are you so afraid of me". Then started getting angry when I didn't answer, and when the supervisor of our visit told him to stop.. I am not afraid of you. I could never be afraid of someone with such a small mind or someone who assumed the world revolves around himself.. thank you for giving me the drive to protect women from people like you and for realizing I am worth more than the situation you kept me in for so many years.