So this is a long story..... but I’ll try and shorten it.

It all started at 16, I started dating my 12 year older than me boss, who was married. ( Yea yea I know, that’s a discussion for another day )

He gets separated from her. I eventually turn 18 get my own place we date and mess around on and off this whole time. Around 19 I move in with him, then shortly after I get my own house, and he moves in with me.

So we lived together for the next 7 years. Things are relatively normal. We both work full time no kids, but I want more. I had been hinting and hinting about getting married, but he had always laughed it off or said he didn’t want to get married again. Well sidebar: he’s not affectionate AT ALL. Sure we have sex, but no cuddling, not a whole lot of communication, not talking about work, just kind feels more like roommates with benefits. Well I have a GBF so I always talked to him about everything and the three of us always joked that my friend was my boyfriend and he was my husband. And that’s kinda how it felt. Now I will say my man had money. Took care of everything was a real mans man if you will.... I wanted for nothing, except love and attention.

So we rock along and start fighting more, and I start getting new friends and going out, and we see less and less of each other. And I start a friendship with a guy at work. We really have a connection and everything, he’s nice, and sweet and funny, and emotional supportive, but is dirt ass poor. I mean didn’t have electric or a bed for a year poor. But we have this spark.

Well I broke it off with my now ex. He wanted to make it work but I kicked him out, got with this new guy, and it’s been almost 1 year. We get along pretty good, but there are somethings I just don’t like about him, small things, also the sex is pretty sad. ( my ex was the best, and this new guy is almost the worst) anyways I catch myself thinking about my ex. Like all the time. He’s not with anyone I don’t think. He got a house right up the street, like within walking distance, apparently doesn’t y’all shot about me, which I find strange, we still have some small bills together, like Netflix and Hulu, and apple music so I see him about once a month to give him money.

Why am I just now having second thoughts? I mean... I don’t know what to do. I miss my ex, and I’m kinda bored of my new boyfriend. I know that sounds terrible, but I’m kinda feeling stuck. Anyone have any advice at all?