Dec 20th 2018 I was 7 weeks almost 8 I believe so I went to the Er because I was not feeling good had major heart burn and was vomiting. Normal pregnancy symptoms I know but to me something was not right .the ran test checked on baby said baby was fine heat heat was going good for baby. Gave me iv fluids because my heart rate was high they believed because I was dehydrated. Even after the fluid I left hospital with resting heart rate in 112. I lost 20 lbs since I became pregnant I guess from not eating the first weeks.

Didn’t feel good still until week 10. All my sickness disappeared I could finally eat. Life became enjoyable and I became more excited about my pregnancy.

I’m supposed to be 11 weeks and yesterday1/21/19 around 3:30 I was cooking and felt discharged come out. Didn’t think anything of it since I’ve been having clear discharge for a while now I’m and off. Around 4 :45 I went to bathroom to pee and shower I looked at my undies and didn’t see what I usually see when I have discharge clear stuff. It was actually brown.

Went to wipe after I peed already panicking and indeed my body is having a miscarriage. I knew it I knew from the moment i became pregnant that something was not right. My hormones didn’t double properly at the beginning . When they finally did I still didn’t feel right.

My husband took me to the Er. So packed I never even got a room. They called me back for ultrasound And blood work. Went back to the waiting room anxiously waiting for results. Hour or so passed called me back pulled me to the side doctor starts saying yeah your supporting be 11 weeks I unfortunately don’t see heart beat. I just started balling. Took me a second to catch my breathe. So he’s asking questions I’m just shut down he kneels down and says he’s sorry and say ti go to my primary and see wat method she recommended for miscarriage. He said you might do it naturally and pass it in clotts. The baby stop growing at 7 weeks almost 8. The last time the heard the heart heart after that i guess it didn’t develop anymore. A piece of me died at the hospital that day. My husband was warming up the car while I waited for discharge paper work. I stoped crying just thinking . I get in the car my hubby asks me questions as to what the say after he left I just threw my discharge paper with such anger on the floor and I cried I cried so loud so hard I couldn’t catch my breath.

I let it all out I screamed I didn’t want to feel what I felt I hate emotions so tuts was is so hard in me. I have an 11 year old and 9 year old I kept telling myself they need me sane so I tried to relax before i got back.

Thankfully I live with my parents recently had some hardships so moved in. Everything happens fir a reason I can’t imagine going through this alone. With out my mom . She’s my Rick been up making me teA and worried for me as miscarriages are scary and can be dangerous.

It’s 538 am I slept on and off all light. Woke up so many times cramping I’m scared to look in pad when I use restroom.

I’m anxiously waiting for doctors office to open to get this done . I’m not sure I get get a D&H because I started runny a cold my nose is clogged up and throat hurts. So I doubt they’ll put me under with cold symptoms.

I dint want to get the pill because I don’t want to pass all the stuff in the toilet here at home I feel it’s so sad 😞

I hope I get this done the right way in so worried and if you’ve been through one please comment your experience and what option you choose. Or had to do .

Today I also feel this calmness in me. Tho I have my sad moments. 😥😥😥