I am so hurt. Please help!!
This is a long one but I need to vent. My husband is a child of divorce. His father remarried 20years ago to this very nice woman who’ve we have had nothing but positive experiences with. His biological mom raise him and is overly possessive. She’s still very angry about the divorce and at his father.
Anyhow we asked his bio mom to come for the birth and stay for 2 weeks after (she lives far away) this was so that she can bond with the baby and spend time with her. His father and step mother live close by. We let them know that for the first 2 weeks it would be dedicated to his bio mom. We were set up and looking forward to it.
Last night my husband was engaging in his weekly talk with her. She became enraged that his dad was allowing us to have the baby shower at his house and that we didn’t invite her ( she lives far away). She was angry that we refused to side with her about his step mom not being involved. To us our daughter will have 3 grandmothers.
So in the end she’s refusing to come for the birth, talk to us and has said that she doesn’t want to be in her life. This is the first and maybe only grand child, my sister in law doesn’t want kids.
I am very hurt. I grew up with inconsistencies from adults. My daughter isn’t here yet and she’s punishing her for something she had nothing to do with.
Should we try to keep his mom engaged or just let her go? My husband is ready to cut her off.
Any advice would be helpful.
UPDATE - SEE Below
As predicted she’s backtracking!
She’s borderline and splitting, my husband set the boundary yet she’s appealing to me. I am allowing my husband to handle this. She’s mentally unstable and the last thing I need is this bullshit. I will compromise cause she is the grandma but there are limits. We will be presenting a list of demands she has to meet prior to her coming and for the future; which includes not bad mouthing the step-mom and bio dad. She won’t be happy but I honestly don’t give a fuck! I am being a good wife and trying to compromise with my husband but I don’t owe her shit!!!