My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. We met online and right now we’re an LDR. We’ve spent a lot of time together in the past and we’ve had sex in those times, but in the future moving forward, he’s asking if we could wait until we got married.

My needy ass says no and I don’t wanna have to wait. I have this “try before you buy” thinking where I want to be able to see if I’m sexually compatible w the guy before I get married.

For the record, he’s my first sexual partner, and yes, we are looking to get married sooner than later, hopefully.

He tells me that I already got “it” before. That even though he wanted to wait even then, he agreed with me anyway. I’m also his first sexual partner, btw. So now he’s asking if we could have it his way and wait until we get married.

We’ve been arguing about this for days now. I’m telling him that having had sex before does not change the fact that he’s already committed premarital sex. He tells me now he knows it’s wrong and he wants to right his wrongs by not doing it anymore.

It’s causing a lot of tension because now we’re (or maybe just me) questioning if we can be married while having these different beliefs.

Another issue I’m having is that I’m currently planning a surprise visit on his birthday, our longest visit together so far. It’s just about a week, but I’ve been looking forward to it for so long, having to keep it a secret from him... but to think of a sexless vacation makes me sad and less excited about it.