I'm so confused......this cycle has been very unusual.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive again since October. I am on clomid again although it didn't work for me the first time around. I always had a regular, to the day, cycle until after I had my first baby. Everything went crazy after him and after several months I was put on Provera to start my cycle and clomid to ovulate. Eventually my cycle leveled back out, but I never got pregnant on the clomid. I spontaneously conceived number 2 after taking a break from clomid. Same problem with my cycle came back after she was born. After 6 months I was again put on Provera and this time metformin. My cycle picked back up after one round. I'm back on clomid. I missed the start date on the clomid in Nov so I saved the pills and took a higher dose in Dec. Yes it was without doctors orders, but I was still in the dose range that she was comfortable with. Well I used opks and never got a positive test when glow said I would ovulate. I skipped testing for a few days due to frustration and then randomly decided to test. I got two very strong positives a week later than I should have. We did the dance just in case. Everything I searched said it was probable to get a positive right before AF cause of the drop in progesterone. Well one app now says I'm 4 days late and glow says I start Sunday. Today I have had some random blood tinged CM but not very much. I took a test before my original start date and it was negative, but that was only 5-6 days after getting the positive opk. I just don't know what to think. I'm afraid that I will get a BFN, know that I will, and I'm scared of enduring another long heart wrenching battle to get pregnant again.