It is my fault....

A broken record on repeat, “it’s not your fault, you did nothing wrong.”

But they don’t know the truth. It is my fault. I killed my unborn twins.

I knew I was carrying twins before my first ultrasound. I guess they call it mother’s instinct.

I doubted myself, and even worse, I doubted God.

My thoughts told me, “you can’t handle two beautiful gifts, it will be too much for you. You are not fit for this challenge. You will fail.”

I doubted myself, and even worse, I doubted God.

I started to wonder if a miscarriage would be easier. I started to wonder if I could handle loosing my precious babies instead of raising them right.

I’m a monster.

MY thoughts and MY doubts killed my unborn twins.

But the truth is, I was wrong. I can’t handle this miscarriage. I can’t handle the pain. I just want my babies back.

Both of them.

I doubted myself, and even worse, I doubted God.

Now I pay the price.