Let me start off my saying, I love my Mother. She gave birth to me and for that I am ever grateful. But, she is not a good person.

My Mother did not do the best job with us kids (there’s 4 of us). I don’t say that lightly either. When I say that I’m referring to the approval of drug/alcohol/tobacco use as young teenagers, and then some. She was pretty neglectful overall, didn’t care much what we did or anything. She was “the cool mom” in her eyes. But she was terrible to us. Money has been a huge issue with her for as long as I can remember. I remember even at 12 years old her wanting any money that I had collected for “bills”. My mom was a drug user herself. She robbed me of a more innocent childhood and teen hood and I resent her for that.

As a teenager, I remember always thinking how awesome she was for allowing me to do whatever I wanted. But as an adult now, and as a parent myself, I’m able to reflect back and realize just how wrong she was in her parenting choices. I’m being a bit vague here for the sake of not writing a novel. But she just was not a good mom. As an adult now, I’m able to realize just how toxic she is to my life and I’m okay with distancing myself from her. I talk and visit with her on my time and in small doses. She is a user and abuser and will jump on any chance she gets to attempt to exploit her children. She makes everything about herself and is the most selfish person I’ve met. When my son was born, I had him ripped from my arms for 3 hours with no update on his condition, only for him to be transferred to a different hospital across town to stay in their nicu. My Mother STILL found a way to make that about HER that she didn’t find out right away and that she wasn’t there. Mind you, I lived in Florida, and her in Arizona. She harped on me about that for daaaaays. She is just selfish. My sister just found out her daughter had been getting molested by her boyfriend, and the same thing is happening. My mom has the nerve to make that about her as well. Also just to note, she -usually- is the last to know because if she’s not, she’s a drama queen talker and will be sure to be the one to let everyone else know. I could go on and on.

So here’s where I’m going with this long drawn out story. My Mother has stage 2 anal cancer, and I don’t feel bad for her. Honestly, it’s barely even cancer. When she first found out, she told everyone she had stage 4 and it had spread to her gums. Attention seeker. Then she changed it to “probably stage 3”. Then found out for sure it was only stage 2, we were all relieved for her. But that wasn’t enough. She had 6 weeks of treatment (she now has 2 days left). She hasn’t been sick, or lost her hair, or any of that. But she is constantly saying she is fighting for her life and that her kids don’t care. We DO care but she ripped our available sympathy away when she kept changing the severity of it. She has lied about it on a gofundme page to get more donations and refuses to change it. She lies to everyone else she talks to about it and makes it a way bigger deal than it should be. She is constantly begging for money for her bills because treatment sucks, meanwhile is buying the brand new iPhone, a new dining room table, and just constantly shopping. Anytime we have helped her, she is so unappreciative and we still get calls from distant family members on how terrible we are for not helping her. She had no humbleness about her to realize that she kind of hit the jackpot as far as cancers go, and that there are children fighting BRAIN CANCER.

I see all of these other people who are so in love with their mothers, and talk how they’d do anything for them and I envy that. But I just don’t feel that way about my Mother. And I resent her from stripping that from me too. I’m lucky to have the greatest Dad ever, and I literally would do anything for him. I just wish I could say the same about her.

END RANT.