Another Month, Another Negative

I’m not sure anyone will read this, but I needed a place to vent.

It’s been 1 year of trying, now before you say that’s nothing, hear me out. I’ve been waiting 6 years to try for a second child. Yes, we have one, yes he’s a blessing. However that does not take away from the pain I go threw each month.

I miscarried in September of 2018, (Worst day of my life) and since then my cycles went from a very regular 28-29 days to a regular 24-26 day cycle.

All the testing seems in normal limits. However, we can’t see a specialist until we try another two months with no success.

I’m exhausted emotionally, I can’t take this pain any longer. There are clearly much stronger women out there than I who are suffering from this.

I’m on so many supplements, eat healthy, exercise, keep a healthy weight, reduce stress, use opk, fertility monitor, bbt (for a year!), preseed, fertility books... blah blah the list goes on.

Here I am trying so damn hard and NOTHING, ever damn month! My relationship is starting to suffer with husband, and sex has become a chore. Yet there’s so many people out there that get pregnant instantly, and don’t even want the baby!

This just seems wrong and backwards.

I can’t take this pain, and the tears 😭

Where did I go wrong in life to be where I am? How could I get pregnant once and then nothing.

My heart aches for all of you ladies traveling this journey. There are no words to make this better, I wish there was.