Today is my 21st birthday. It's also my first birthday without my mum here, she passed away in june and while it's been hard I've gotten through it but right now while my husband is at work, I'm home alone having been ditched by my only friend close to where i live, its hitting hard. She had been planning my 21st birthday almost right after my 20th before she decided enough was enough and ended in palliative care. She had wanted to plan a big party at my parents house in the yard as most of my friends live there (3 hour drive away) i always kept putting it off telling her we had months to plan it together. I actually forgot my birthday was coming up and left plans to a last minuet only prompted by my husband wanting me to enjoy myself.

He planned a nice night with family but not the family i really want to see (my sperm donor who i hate and his stupid homewreaking wife) and well my brothers and maybe 2 friends. He couldn't get the day off work so i planned with a friend to spend some time with her but found out via instagram that she ditched me for her better friends so I'm alone feeling down on my birthday.