Need relationship advice

Katie

So I’ve never really had any sort of relationship before. I had a rough childhood, and throughout the years it’s mainly just been flings. Recently I met this guy through a dating app who just moved back home from being in the Navy for five years. I had been going through some stuff at the time and I basically secluded myself to my room that week. My friend urged me to meet up with him even if I wasn’t interested. She wanted me to get out of the house and at least see what happens. After cancelling for dinner, and then pushing the time off the next day, I decided that I need to do this for myself.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. We instantly connected and ended up spending the entire day together. It was really great for a few weeks until he picked up two jobs. One during the day from 6am-2:30pm and one every weekend doing overnights. He also has been giving his older brother, (who we recently got an apartment with), rides to work at 4am every morning. I didn’t realize that him working all the time would effect what we were working towards so much.

Eventually I felt like I was starting all of the conversations and I was trying to be so supportive and patient with him. He comes from a rough family too so I was just trying to be there for him.

Eventually my thoughts got the best of me. I had just hung out with him and we had sex. This wasn’t the first time with him and it kinda seemed like this was becoming a pattern. I don’t mind, but it just made me doubt things so much more.

I ended up messaging him and just tried to explain my confusion. I was really nice about it and said I am completely okay with where we are at. All I asked was for him to communicate a little bit more and I wanted to make sure we will still working towards a future relationship.

I think doing that freaked him out. He responded saying he wasn’t sure right now because of work and I told him I’m going to give him space.

As of right now it’s been two days and I haven’t texted him or snap chatted him at all. He’s busy going into his overnight shifts this weekend so I don’t think he will message me until next week.

I know he sounds like a total douche, but surprisingly in person he’s really not. I think he’s just been hurt by a lot of people and he’s just really stressed out. He’s currently dealing with not talking to his mom or sister because of things and it seems like a lot of things have been getting to him.

Now I know it’s no excuse regardless, but I feel like I shouldn’t give up on him quite yet. I just need some more opinions so please comment! Also do you think I should message him first or wait for him to message me? Obviously I don’t have much experience here and I don’t want to ruin things even more.

Thank you to everyone who read this entire thing! Means a lot 💕