I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of being jealous. I'm sick of being so anxious and moody. I had my 2nd miscarriage almost a month ago and each day of gets harder and harder to accept. I did so much to keep myself and my baby healthy. I work a stable job and never called in once, to make sure I could support my child. My best friend is pregnant, and she got fired from her job for calling in all the time or just not showing up! Why me? I don't understand. I was so excited. As ready as I could be. So confident. My heart feels so heavy. I just want this pain to go away. It's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. I try to do things to keep my mind occupied, but all of the feelings of grief that I'm experiencing is just so overwhelming. I also have a birth defect in my kidneys and ureters and my doctor thinks that I have a birth defect in my uterus causing me to be unable to carry a successful pregnancy. But then there are the women who so drugs and could care less about the beautiful life growing inside of them.. And this is how us loving mothers get rewarded. Its just heartbreaking..