I matched with a guy on tinder around 6 months ago. He wasn’t really my type but we had mutual friends and they all said he was a super good guy. The first time I met him was with our mutual friends. We started hanging out and going on dates, texting everyday, hanging out like every weekend. He was a gentleman I guess, waited until I was ready to have sex. I was scared to because the person before him sexually assaulted me. We even gave each other Christmas presents. We decided in the beginning that we weren’t ready to be in a committed relationship, but I believe we were only seeing each other. I wasn’t seeing anyone. I really liked hanging out with him, he was funny, I liked that he was safe and I didn’t have to worry about going on dates and being afraid of men.

But things seem different now. It felt like I was always initiating texts and hangouts. The last time I saw him he had to change plans, but didn’t tell me until I asked him if we were still hanging out which I felt was rude. I invited him to my 21st birthday dinner, he didn’t get me anything (felt weird bc he gave me a Christmas present) and gave me a weird Christian side hug when he left. I figured he was just weird in crowds. When we hung out last I just felt really anxious, the vibe felt off. I expressed that I felt like he might be losing interest, with me always initiating texts and whatnot. He just said “we both said we weren’t ready for a committed relationship” and I was just like “i know that, and I’m still fine with that, I just don’t want it to be one sided “. And he said he understood and he’d try to initiate texts, he’s just been busy lately with work. I told him I totally understand that. He said some very nice things to me and I felt reassured. He even texted me first. But now it’s been a week since we last talked.

I also found out that he changed his bio and added a new pic on tinder.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I wanna move on, but I’m scared to close that door. It was nice having someone to hang out with. But not everything was great. He never made me cum and I faked an orgasm (I told myself I’d never do that) bc I thought it would boost his confidence. gave me grief bc I don’t like pancakes (association with a traumatic memory/ I have PTSD). Saying some dumb guy shit.

I’m really just venting and bitching. I’ve never been in this type of relationship or whatever it is. I just feel like I’m worth more than how I’ve been treated. I’m sorry if it’s long.

Thank you if you read this far