Fat girl problems

When I was younger (HS, JH) I would do things with boys just so they would continue to talk to me and like me.

I was never the girl who got looked at, or was considered the “cute” friend. I didn’t have many friends at all.

When it came to boys, I would do whatever they wanted. Whether that had been sexual, lending money, being a wingman..etc

I think about all the sexual things I’ve done from then till now and am so embarrassed that I believed any of them actually liked me.