Children discipline

So I have a three year old and a one year old. They are at heart good babies. But my three year old had until about a year ago been cared for by my husband because I was working. Since then the roles have been switched. I now stay home with my children. We have a schedule and for the most part my babies are pretty good. When my oldest does act out my husband refuses to punish him. My husband told me because he was "spanked" as a child he does not agree with it. His being spanked was a whole lot different that a normal butt spank and I could basically call it abuse from the stories he's told me. I did before my oldest got to the age he is agree that I wouldn't spank him, same for my husband. My point is. I believe that there could be a time when a child deserves a spanking. Ex: if they have not done what you've told them and you have repeatedly told them to do so, or act out or throw a tantrum. Or if they talk back/are disrespectful after you've explained to them that that is not appropriate behavior and helped them sort out their feeling. I do tell my son that it's ok to be upset or mad sometimes. But that doesn't mean he gets to act out because he doesn't get his way. Now I'm not saying spank them all the time. But use good judgement. And only on the behind. I don't want to raise assholes or extremely disrespectful children.I will add, I was spanked as a child, but very rarely I could probably say only maybe 1-2 times I actually remember. It was always a last resort. I turned out fine I think. Opinions and input would be great. Thank you!