Broken heart💔

Love hurts. This really is my real first love and it was haywire. We dated and he pretty much treated me like shit but I still loved and cherished him because I cared about him. It was so hard to just stop and let go. Eventually he broke up with me and it hurt. We got back together because he said he wanted a fresh start and he said he would stop being a dick but he didn’t change so I broke up with him because I couldn’t go another year being upset again. For some reason I still love him and I still want him😖 and my heart hurts so much idk what to do