Taking his last name. Should or should I not? Help me to decide!

Question

My boyfriend and I have been taking abut marriage and I can’t wait to start my life with this man but I don’t know if I want to take his last name alone. I would like to hyphenate my last name. Some background on it, my boyfriend and I practice different religions and I understand the differences and similarities to our faiths but he chose to changed his last name to adopt to his faith and that’s cool but I feel if I take on his faith base last name when we get married, I will be automatically be converting myself to his religion. I don’t have any issues with his faith and I totally respect it but I love my faith and don’t want to abandon it because My faith got me thru so much. My boyfriend’s argument is valid, he thinks if we don’t have the same last name ultimately, we’re not generally one in marriage. I don’t know how to address this with a happy medium. Is there any wives out there, who had different religion than her husband and got married. How did you go about the last name decision? Help!

Answer

His argument is not valid. Marriage is so much more than a name. Hyphenating is a good compromise -- in fact, maybe he should consider hyphenating as well? Then you would truly share a name and honor the new family you're creating through marriage.

Answer

By taking his last name, you do not automatically belong to his religion. It honestly sounds like you guys need to have that pre-marriage talk. 
Money
Religion
Money
Kids
Money
Last name changing
Money
Housing
Money
Do you get the jist?  You both need to have a serious conversation or 10 about life things. Your last name is such a small part of that. 
Money is the biggest killer of relationships. Not last names.

Answer

Every kid I knew who had a hyphenated name HATED it. I don’t like it either and don’t recommend it. You can’t both choose a last name together if you want, my daughter’s father and his wife did that. Or you could take his name without taking his religion. All in all you guys will have much more important things to be concerned  about other than a name!

Answer

I did not take my husbands last name. Not for religious reasons but his last name comes directly from a slave owner and my last name comes directly from my great grandfather who was a slave. So we agreed that it would be wrong to accept his last name.

Answer

don’t change your name.

Answer

I personally don't like hyphenated names, the area I grew up in if you had a hyphenated last name it generally meant your parents weren't together. I just took my husband's last name but we obviously didn't have the religious issue that you have and I also have a biased opinion towards hyphenated names 🤷 do what makes you happy, maybe write up a pros/cons list of changing to his last name vs hyphenating

Answer

My husband is Christian and I don’t really have a religion and we work great. I would just do what you said and hyphenate your last name. If you don’t feel comfortable taking his last name, then he should understand. It’s common these days not to take the husbands last name. I did and I’m happy, well besides having to spell it out every time which is a pain, but still worth it.

Answer

Hyphenate it. 
I like my last name it’s Spanish, and not many people have it. I will be hyponating my last name to M****-Patel. My boyfriend is Indian and his last name is rather common. With that being said I still want to have the same last name as our daughter and him. My man has zero issue why hyphenating it or not taking it at all.

Taking his last name. Should or should I not? Help me to decide!

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